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I know this is satire, but don't annoy these so-called "customer service people" or they will become even more ineffectual. You're mad and they will send a coupon so you can buy more stuff to be mad about? Or the packaging is so complex and tough it would take a rabid weasel on crack to get into it? Or they will put you on hold (with your permission, of course--may I?) and then deet-deet-deet if you'd like to make a call..DROPPED! Or the phone company--the PHONE CO!---asks your number three times. Or a cross robot irritatedly says, "I KNOW you want a representative, please answer these 10 easy questions so I know which representative." Or the hold music is so atonal (obviously royalty-free) that it sounds like two cats in luv. Or "Sorry, we are closed"--on weekends, natch, when people have time to call. Yeah. those are the horror stories of customer service. Still, there is a reliable paper writing service I work for and customer services there is superb and my company is not the only one. I guess, you should just be lucky enough to find one and get to the awesome support representative.